• Russell: I saw Richard Madeley earlier today and he looked nice and 'andsome. He sort of leaned out of his window and said, "Hey, you alright Russell?" And I went, "Alright, Richard? Where's the beard?" Cos apparently he'd had a beard recently.
• Matt: Do you know what? Do you know what that means as well? A gay man who has a wife, they call that his beard.
• Russell: Oh my god he thinks that I think his marriage to Judy is a sham! Oh no! What have I said? I did, I looked over and went, "Where's the beard?" And he went, "I've just got rid of it, it wasn't working out!" OH NO! Watch the tabloids, watch the tabloids!